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Game of Thrones…Stuff Brewing Behind The Wall

 
Posted by Science Fiction Author,   
Behind GoT’s Wall, what’s brewing?
Kelly Atkinson featured guest blogger, writer and avid GoT fan explores that question today on The Probe.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Meanwhile, Back At The Beginning….

By Kelly Atkinson

At the opening of the series and the books (as in BEFORE the credits and as in THE PROLOGUE), we viewers/readers see a seriously creepy zombie-like attack, resulting in two seemingly capable warriors’ dismemberment and one seemingly yellow-bellied wimp taking off like any sane person.

Next chapter: and so off with the deserter’s head, Lord Stark.

Then Jon, Ghost, and Lord Commander Mormont witness an attack by the undead former Black Brother who’s apparently reanimated (but now has beautiful blue eyes at least) and can only be killed by fire (which Jon does effectively).

So Mormont sends Lord Hater, I mean Alliser Thorne, to King’s Landing with the undead hand of the attacker in a jar (and we don’t hear about the hand again until book/season two).

Then Sam kills a blue-eyed Snow Zombie Skeletor with a dragon glass blade (thanks to Jon leaving him that option—Jon saves Sam, moment 5 and counting).

In the TV series, season two ends with Sam crouched in fear behind a rock while what looks a lot like an army of Snow Zombies moves past. One looks down at Samwise Gamgee, I mean Sam the Slayer, with disinterest (either because Sam wields no fire or obsidian/dragon glass and/or because Sam is visibly terrified as usual).

Eventually, acting Hand of the King and normally observant and two-steps ahead Tyrion Lannister agrees to see Lord Alliser Hater and his snow zombie hand, but then mocks him openly in front of court when the remains are unrecognizable as a body part.

This is bittersweet moment, since we love it when anyone mocks Alliser, but we know Tyrion would have caught onto the flashing danger signs had he not been distracted with: hormonal and sadistic King Joffrey the Jaded; planning the battle strategies against not only his own family but more importantly Stannis’ planned open water attack on King’s Landing; keeping Sansa out of Cersei’s grasp and Joffrey’s thoughts. (The king craps, the Hand wipes).

At this point, book 2 or season 2—choose your poison—we fans have grasped that there’s some serious supernatural danger brewing up Beyond the Wall. Jon’s infiltration of Manse Rayder’s camp and knowledge of the plan to traverse over the Wall are enough information for any viewer/reader to be groaning with exasperation every time some person miles and miles away where it’s still just sweater weather says, “Fiddle Dee Dee; tomorrow is another day. Pass the lemoncakes. I love your new doublet, by the way.”

HELLO.

THIS IS YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD PESSIMIST READER/THE VOICE OF ALL THE GODS IN WESTEROS: YOU ARE ALL ABOUT TO DIE AND BE REANIMATED LIKE THE WILDLINGS—ONLY YOUR PRETTY BLUE EYES WILL ROT OUT FASTER IN THESE WARMER CLIMATES.

AND WHY ARE YOU SO UNGRATEFUL TO THE NIGHT’S WATCH, ANYWAY? AREN’T THEY HOLDING THE LINE FOR ALL OF YOU BRATS IN THE SOUTH?

Ahem.

Meanwhile down South, in the heart of the Free Cities…

There’s this beautiful young Targaryen/Dothraki queen/Khaleesi:

  • who is impervious to fire
  • who has three dragon children
  • who HATES EVERYONE ACROSS THE NARROW SEA, since they raped, tortured, murdered and blacklisted her whole family line except for her older brother who was driven mad by his lust to regain the throne that was rightfully his!
A witch kills her husband and unborn son, leaving her to:
  • step up to rule an initially harsh-seeming foreign people,
  • travel across a desert,
  • sack three huge cities,
  • and end up right back at the beginning.

At least this time she’s got a dragon big enough to ride when she meets a Dothraki horde. (See, Quaithe is on top of things. Remind me to tell you about my theory about who Quaithe is.)

Reaction in King’s Landing?

“Mummy, look at my kittens!”

“Hush, sweetling. Mummy’s busy scheming and ignoring warnings of sure death and destruction coming from both sides, alienating the remaining relatives we have, and growing her hair out. Tighter with the laces, wench! This dress fit me a year ago!”

Sigh.

NEXT WEEK: Lannister-I-Mean-Baratheon Against Lannister: Showdown Between Joffrey and Tyrion

BTW: Spoiler Alert of the week:

 

About Kelly

**Please note: Kelly Atkinson was not available for comment. The following bio was pieced together after speaking with…
…Her imaginary friend Marble

…A dude who stamped her hand once at a Cramps concert

…David the Gnome’s friend, the talking fox Swift

…The ghost of Edgar Allan Poe

Kelly Atkinson was raised by a family of sentient black cats after her mortal family was murdered by a rabid gang of unicorns when she was seven-years old. They left only her alive so she could tell the authorities who dunnit.

After calling them out for plagiarizing Oliver Stone character catch phrases, she spat in their faces and then promptly cut out her own tongue with a Bowie knife just to foil their plan.

Luckily, black cats usually own computers.

She resides right behind you.

***

 
 
Let Kelly and I know if you are enjoying the GoT series and if there are any GoT topics you’d like probed. 
 
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6 replies on “Game of Thrones…Stuff Brewing Behind The Wall”

<<<<<< SPOILER WARNING!!! >>>>>>>>
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I suspect that after the stupidity of the Nights Watch and what they did to Jon at the end of book 5, that the shit is about to hit the fan and the “Snow Zombies” are about to cross the wall in some way. Whether it is the mysterious Horn of Winter or some other method. Once that happens WORD WILL SPREAD QUICKLY all through Westeros and this threat will no longer be ignored. Hence the title of book 6 “Winds of Winter”

Excellent Blogs BTW!!

Kelly,
Thanks for writing another thought provoking blog! I find that I am developing anxiety and feel sort of rushed/desperate when it comes to all things beyond the wall. I had not taken the time to tally up the actual white walker/zombie scenes addressed in the show so far, and I was SHOCKED when you revealed that it was a paltry FIVE TIMES!!!
Oh those silly pragmatic Starks, with their Debby Downer house motto: “Winter is Coming”… the only players in this game to recognize that there is a BIGGER PICTURE THAN THE LANISTER EGO are getting picked off quickly and brutally.
All the cold, dead, blue-eyed stuff north of the wall scares the Bageezus out of me, but I think what stresses me out even more is the Night’s Watch. It just seems soooooo hopeless! They said those beautiful words, and whether or not they are honorable crows, or rapscallions, they are expected to throw themselves in front of that speeding train. They look the train right in the grill, they see it coming, they know they had no luck contacting the signal conductors, they know it is too late to roll a large obstacle onto the tracks. They know it will not slow down or derail on it’s own, and flinging themselves in front if it will have zero effect; but fling themselves they must. Otherwise they face being lynched by either their brothers-in black, or any regular ol’ person who was too selfish to serve on the wall themselves but is capable of recognizing a deserter.
This (Westerosi) society no longer produces people who are Proud to Serve, and the Service *er—I mean “Night’s Watch”* is no longer perceived as a Noble Calling, but instead an institution of Ill Repute. John Snow/Stark/Targaryen finally manages to make some progress with his motley band of misfits, only to have the rug yanked out from under him again and again and again. You asked for help at the wall? Well, careful what you wish for, because Janos Slynt is what Kings Landing was nice enough to send. Oh, the dead are rising and feeling murderous? Well, here comes Not-Thinking-Very-Clearly Stanis, with his own agenda to distract from the real threat.
Poor Crows. I continue to che er for John Snow/Stark/Targaryen and around every corner I fear I might read/hear the words “and now his watch has ended”.
<3 AmbeR Day

Outside the GoT talk, I think that snow zombies are a subject to discuss (hint: blog post) all on their own.

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