Fiction Monsters

Interview with a Shapesifter

Shapeshifter Best
In the beginning, all mankind could shapeshift.

Shapeshifting dominates myths, legends, folklore, and fairy tales as far back as we can trace. Some even believe Jesus was a shapeshifter. They believe this is why Judas betrayed him with a kiss. Otherwise he could have just described Jesus to the soldiers. But, since Jesus could change his shape, Judas used a kiss.

Even though shapeshifters have been an intricate part of literature forever, if you do a google search, little relevant information can be found on the topic. And according to my shapeshifting friend, Shifty, much of the information is incorrect. He points to the inclusion of werewolves and vampires into the shapeshifting species. He claims this is a big mistake. My werewolf friend, Cimarron, agrees.

Werewolves and Shapeshifters, Not the Same

“Two separate entities entirely,” they both shout with much conviction. And neither acknowledge vampires as actual creatures of the night. They get mad being lumped together with the undead.

I don’t have any vampire friends to ask. Never met one, so until I do, I won’t believe in them except as an interesting subject matter for movies and novels.

As a child prone to supernatural friends, I found it best—at a young age—not to argue with my monsters, but listen instead. And learn. This summer, in the heat of a such a disagreement, Shifty and Cimarron presented compelling differences between shapeshifters and werewolves.

Differences Between Shapeshifters and Werewolves

Horse Shapeshifter
Shapeshifters can be anything they choose to be. To Native Americans the horse symbolized power.

Cimarron: We Weres have to wait on the moon to change.  A shifter just sets his mind to it and changes. Anytime. Anywhere. 

Shifty: Weres can only transform into a wolf. I can be anything. If you are going to incorporate werewolves into the shapeshifting species, you might as well include a caterpillar. It changes into a butterfly, but only a butterfly.  

Cimarron: A person has to be bitten by a werewolf to become a one, unless they are an original.

Shifty: This is a big difference because primitive humankind was born with the ability to shapeshift. Before people evolved and became grounded to their bodies, they could transform into another shape. Shapeshifting was natural to all humankind early in their development. How could man have survived the Paleolithic Age had they not possessed this ability?

Me: But why did we lose this power to shapeshift?

Shifter: Not all of us did.

Me: Why did most of us lose it?

Shifter: Superstitions. Religions. How can you control mankind if he/she/they can transform their physical form into anything they want. Those with power, in order to dominate their subjects, preached shapeshifting was evil. Fear in what came naturally—instinct, intuition, and magic—killed these innate abilities in humankind. An extremely intelligent human, Chief Dan George, once said: What one fears one destroys. As time erased the memories of shapeshifting, the powerful believed their own lies and shapeshifting became a forgotten art. Except for a few of us.

Can We Reactivate This Lost Ability?

Me: Can we relearn this art? Is it buried in our DNA somewhere?

Shifter: It would be difficult if not impossible. You might be able to mimic the process through ceremonies like American Indians and aboriginals once performed. But only your mind would transform not your body. It wouldn’t be the way it was in the beginning of times.

Me: Well, this is a real downer.

Cimarron: Think about it this way. Earth has become so populated, what if everyone could shapeshift? You would never know who was who, or what was what.

Me: That thought does kinda blow.

Shifty: Please change the topic. This is depressing.

Me: Why? I find it interesting.

Shifty: Because it can’t be fixed. Man has evolved too far. And I’m lonely.

This is when the conversation switched to best pick-up lines for my monsters to use to find a mate. In my last blog post, Grey’s lines were presented. The lines came fast and furious all night. I thought I was in a car with Vin Diesel. I tried to get them down, but missed a few. So add your own in the comment section below.

Woman transformed into dragon.
Svipdag Transformed was painted December 31, 1910 by John Bauer, a Swedish painter and illustrator.

Pick-Up Lines for Shapeshifters

man shapeshifts into rock
I’ll be your rock. Literally.
  • “I’ll be your rock. Literally. Or… Your rock.”
  • “I can change. Really I can.”

    The Rock
    Or your Rock, also literally.
  • “I can be anything you want me to be.”
  • “I’m a perfect date for a costume party.”
  • “I’ll be your puppy on the street and your wolf in the sheets.”
  • “I’ll not only give you the moon, I’ll be your moon.”

The following two lines were offered by one of my favorite contributors. Thank you, Maggye (and Tom).

  • “Hi my name is Genie. Want to rub my vessel?”
  • “Regardless of your vagenda, I am very adaptable!”

My zombie friend, Oozy, threw in his favorite. He called it his home run one-liner. “I like a girl with brains.” And Smoke, my ghost, says his best is: “I’m always transparent.”

Cimarron claims he doesn’t have to try too hard to pick up a girl, because of his rugged good looks. “Sometimes, to a really hot individual, I say, ‘Hey, wanna go grab a bite?’ That always gets them,” he says.

Bye, Bye Monsters

It was a lot of fun meeting up with my childhood friends this summer. They have since returned to their roamings, hauntings, and researching.

Clara Bush
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