(Go ahead, print it off, and staple it to the wall behind your desk or toilet. You know you want to. I did.)

Are speech tags simple like “said” and “asked”? Typically, they don’t need to be too flowery. Stay away from using how they spoke too, like “she asked slowly,” “he asked inquisitively.” For me, when I read something, I have already read it a certain way. And telling me after I’ve read it how it was said is just not needed.

Watch out for “ing” “ly” and “as” if things can’t be done together, don’t do them together. This means you can’t smile and say something easily. Try it. It isn’t easy. 

Don’t state the obvious. If your character is getting into a shower, there is no need to say she turned the water on. Example, Don’t say: Turning on the shower, Clara stepped in. Instead, say: Clara stepped into the shower and allowed the hot, soothing water to ease her ache. In the last example, we understand Clara must turn on the shower to feel the water. No need to state the obvious. 

Add white space. This is very effective if things are happening fast. More white space helps the reader read the part fast and makes it seem much more high impact because they are reading with the pace of the story.

Is the dialogue believable? Would people really say these things? Is it revealing and not facty? People rarely speak in facts. When you are using one person to teach the other people something they should already know, you are not helping yourself or your readers. I don’t get up in the morning and spout strange things my household already knows, like “the sky is blue today.” No kidding.

Are contractions used well? For me, this goes in a lot for the first person. Listen to how people talk. Do they say “that is” or “that’s.” This helps with dialogue as well as when the main character narrates the story. Contractions make your character sound realer.

Avoid semicolons and commas. Make sentences brief. Especially for young adult fiction, so the story reads faster and with less complexity. 

About the story

Perfect the first 10 words and first 10 paragraphs to captivate the reader.

Is the world built believably? For the story that you are writing, is the world something the reader can really see? Is it a working world, or does it seem too generic?

Avoid info dumps. This leaves the reader bogged down, maybe overwhelmed, and sometimes bored.

Cut out generic action. Have you been reading along and someone does something and you are sure it’s just used to stretch the scene? Travis said: I think I did this a lot with the first draft of The Mirror of the Moon. Grace was taking a lot of inhales from her pipe, and a lot of pulls from her tankard of ale. Also, no one needs to continue doing something. If we have already established that mom is cooking dinner, you don’t need to throw in here and there that she continued cooking dinner. Unless you tell us she stopped, we will just assume she is still cooking.

Cut facts out of high tension and make sentences and paragraphs short and fast. Forward momentum is a beautiful thing. Don’t lose it. How do we lose it? Facts. If you are in the middle of a high-speed chase, you don’t want to get into details that will take our minds away from the chase. Also, as I stated above with white space, if you are in a tense moment, make sentences and paragraphs short and clipped. This makes the scene flow fast and increases tension.

Cut scenes that don’t build the story or characters.

Cut or rework boring parts.

Show. Don’t Tell Your Reader

Don’t tell emotions, show them. It’s amazing when someone can express their emotions with small actions or words. If you say “Craig was embarrassed” that’s all fine and dandy, but wouldn’t it build the character if there was a certain thing Craig did when he was embarrassed? Like shuffle his feet. Or pick his nose. Or pull on his earlobe. 

Be mindful of overused words: “smiled,” “that,” “laughed,” “turned,” “looked.” You will know your own overused words. When you read through you will be like “oh my GOD, there’s that word again.” Make a list of overused words and work to cut them, or replace them with something else. Also, some newbie writers overuse smile. If people are smiling or laughing all the time, and everyone is doing it, that seems kind of generic to me. Almost like the writer can’t think of anything else for his/her/their character to do, so they add in smiling. “That’s great!” Craig smiled. Can you smile well while saying something? Does it look really dumb when you do? That’s how people are going to picture your character. Smiles are good, but often overused.

Write against stereotypes for secondary characters. You want people, not cookie cutters. Make them interesting. The brainless cheerleader is fine, but what if she was really not brainless?

Watch out for “seemed.” That is an evil word. Use it sparingly. Seem is bad because it’s just filler. I find this problem with my writing. Everything “seems” like this or “seems” like that. Consequently, I write something like, Clara seemed happy. Cut it, and add in something showing Clara is happy. Example: Clara uttered an almost soundless whoop. And then another louder, whoop. “Whoopee coyote, I did it. I did it!” she screamed and hugged the letter to her chest. 

Writing Style

Is there enough foreshadowing? Travis says: I love to foreshadow, because I think it adds depth. If you don’t foreshadow an event, sometimes it might seem like a big coincidence. Of course, this is a personal preference. Foreshadowing is up to you. It can add a depth and richness to your story. And prepares the reader for something, but they don’t realize it is important until they read the last few pages. Like an aha moment and it all comes together. Take Harry Potter. JK foreshadowed like crazy, making the story seem completely interwoven.

If there is a slow scene, try relocating the characters to a different setting. Tavis says: In Ruin I had a huge issue. Things were being explained too much and there wasn’t enough action. It was very facty. So, I took them out of the safe space, and put them in danger for much of the first third of the book. It adds tension and helps build so much more than just the story.

You can show character quirks and moods by having them do things with props. Just another way of showing how they feel instead of telling. This would be part of character building.

Watch out for repetition. I sometimes repeat things a lot, and that drags the story down.

Figure out when and how to use em dashes (—) and ellipses (…).

Thank you, Travis. It’s an impressive list. Check out Travis and his wonderful books on Amazon. 

If you have any additions to the checklist please let me know. I enjoy hearing what you think.

Top artwork on Flickr—The Last Unicorn Gallery by torley
Needle In A Haystack—Flickr byBrian Ingmanson
Scary Dog— Pixabay image by lizzyliz